Grief is never easy, and when a child experiences loss, it can be especially overwhelming—for them and for you as a parent. Whether it’s the loss of a family member, a pet, or even a major life change, children process grief differently than adults. They may not have the words to express their emotions, and their reactions might seem confusing or unexpected. As a parent, your support plays a crucial role in helping them navigate this difficult time.
Understanding How Children Experience Grief
Children often express grief in ways that differ from adults. While an adult may go through prolonged sadness, children might seem fine one moment and deeply upset the next. Some common grief responses in kids include:
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Asking the same questions repeatedly as they try to understand the loss.
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Regressing to behaviors from a younger age, such as bed-wetting or clinginess.
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Acting out due to confusion, frustration, or an inability to express emotions verbally.
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Showing physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches.
Every child is unique, and their grief journey will be, too. The key is to meet them where they are and provide a safe, open space for them to process their emotions.
Ways to Support a Grieving Child
1. Be Honest and Use Clear Language
It’s natural to want to shield children from pain, but using euphemisms like “passed away” instead of “died” can create confusion. Be clear and gentle in your explanations. If a loved one has died, you might say, “Grandpa died, which means his body has stopped working and we won’t be able to see him anymore. But we will always love and remember him.”
2. Encourage Them to Ask Questions
Children will likely have many questions, and some may be difficult to answer. Be patient and answer in an age-appropriate way. If you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know, but we can find out together.”
3. Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know that whatever they are feeling is okay. They might feel sad, scared, angry, or even guilty. Reassure them that grief comes in many forms and that their emotions are normal.
4. Maintain Routines
While it’s important to allow space for grief, keeping a consistent routine can provide children with a sense of stability. Regular mealtimes, school routines, and bedtime schedules can help them feel secure in a time of uncertainty.
5. Use Books and Stories to Help Them Understand
Stories can be a powerful tool for helping kids process loss. Books like The Invisible String by Patrice Karst or Jurni offer gentle ways to explore grief and healing. Reading together can spark important conversations and give children a way to relate to their emotions.
6. Create a Memory Ritual
Encouraging children to celebrate and remember their loved one can be healing. Activities like drawing pictures, creating a scrapbook, or lighting a candle can give them a tangible way to express their love and keep memories alive.
7. Seek Additional Support if Needed
Some children may struggle with grief in ways that require extra support. If you notice ongoing behavioral changes, withdrawal, or persistent sadness, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or grief specialist.
Healing Together
Grieving alongside your child can be challenging, especially if you are experiencing loss yourself. Remember to give yourself grace and allow room for your own emotions. Modeling healthy ways to express grief—whether through talking, journaling, or seeking support—shows your child that it’s okay to feel and process emotions in their own time.
Grief is a journey, not a destination. By walking beside your child with love, patience, and understanding, you’re giving them the tools to navigate loss with resilience and hope.
At Jurni, we're working to bring these themes of grief, healing, and hope to life through an animated short film inspired by our story. If you’d like to support this project, please visit our Kickstarter campaign or learn more on the Jurni website. Together, we can create something meaningful for families navigating their own journeys.