Grief is challenging for anyone, but it can be especially confusing and overwhelming for children. When a child loses a parent, their world changes in ways that are hard for them to understand or process. As adults, we might feel unsure about how to provide the right support.
The good news is, there are thoughtful ways to help children navigate their grief. Here are some ideas and resources I’ve come across that might be helpful for families, friends, and caregivers.
1. Create a Safe Space for Their Emotions
Children need to know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even guilty after losing a parent. Encourage them to express their emotions openly, whether through talking, drawing, writing, or playing.
You might say:
“It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling right now. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
This reassurance can help them feel seen and supported, even if they don’t yet have the words to describe their feelings.
2. Answer Questions Honestly
Kids are naturally curious, and they’ll likely have questions about what happened. Answer in an age-appropriate and truthful way, using clear and simple language. Avoid overloading them with details, but don’t be afraid to address their concerns.
For example:
- Young child: “Why isn’t Mommy coming back?”
- Answer: “Mommy’s body stopped working, and she died. It’s something that happens to everyone eventually, but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose everyone you love.”
- Older child: “Why did this happen?”
- Answer: “Sometimes things happen that we don’t understand, and it can feel unfair. It’s okay to feel upset, and I’m here to talk about it whenever you need.”
3. Stick to Routines
After a significant loss, maintaining familiar routines can provide children with a sense of stability and security. Whether it’s bedtime stories, weekly family dinners, or a favorite Saturday morning cartoon, these rituals remind them that not everything in their life has changed.
4. Encourage Healthy Ways to Remember
Memories can be a source of comfort. Encourage your child to share their favorite memories of their parent or find creative ways to honor them. Some ideas include:
- Creating a memory box with special items or photos.
- Planting a tree or flower in their parent’s memory.
- Writing a letter or drawing a picture to express their feelings.
These activities can help children feel connected to their parent in a positive way.
5. Seek Outside Support When Needed
Sometimes, professional support is necessary, and that’s okay. Grief counselors or child therapists can provide tools and techniques to help children process their emotions.
Here are a few resources to explore:
- The Dougy Center: Specializes in grief resources for children.
- Local non-profits offering grief support groups for kids.
- School counselors who can provide guidance and support.
6. Be Patient with Their Process
Grief isn’t linear, and children may revisit their feelings over time as they grow and gain new understanding. A 5-year-old may process grief differently than they will at age 10 or 15. Be open to ongoing conversations and adjustments to their support as needed.
Final Thoughts
Losing a parent is one of the hardest things a child can face, but they don’t have to go through it alone. By being present, honest, and patient, you can help them navigate this journey with love and understanding.
At Jurni, we're working to bring these themes of grief, healing, and hope to life through an animated short film inspired by our story. If you’d like to support this project, please visit our Kickstarter campaign or learn more on the Jurni website. Together, we can create something meaningful for families navigating their own journeys.