Grief is a complex, personal journey that is often hard for adults to understand, let alone for children. When a child is grieving, it can be difficult for caregivers to know how to provide the right support. Children process grief differently than adults, often with bursts of emotion or sudden changes in behavior. However, there are clear, simple steps that can be taken to help a grieving child navigate this difficult time.
This post will guide you through some compassionate ways to support a grieving child, offering tools to help them understand and express their feelings.
1. Acknowledge Their Grief
Just as adults need validation when they’re grieving, children also need to know that their feelings are valid. It can be tempting to try and shield a child from their sadness or to tell them to "stay strong." But acknowledging the loss and the sadness it brings is crucial for helping a child understand what they’re experiencing.
- Tip: Let the child know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Encourage them to talk about their feelings, and listen to what they say without judgment.
2. Be Honest, but Age-Appropriate
Children are often more perceptive than we give them credit for, so it's important to be truthful with them about the death or loss they've experienced. However, the level of detail you provide should be age-appropriate. Younger children may not fully understand the permanence of death, while older children may have more questions about the process.
- Tip: Use clear, simple language when talking about death. Avoid euphemisms like "passed away" or "went to sleep," which can confuse children.
3. Create Opportunities for Expression
Grief doesn’t always come out in words—especially for children. They may not have the vocabulary or emotional awareness to articulate what they’re feeling. Finding alternative ways for them to express their emotions can help them process their grief in healthy ways.
- Tip: Encourage creative activities like drawing, writing, or even physical activities like playing or dancing. These can be therapeutic outlets for a child’s feelings.
4. Maintain Routine and Stability
While grief is a disruptive experience, it’s important for children to feel some sense of normalcy in their lives. Maintaining familiar routines—like school, meals, and bedtime—helps children feel secure during a time of instability.
- Tip: Reassure your child that certain things will stay the same, even if the world around them feels uncertain. Regular activities can provide comfort and a sense of control.
5. Be Present and Available
One of the most important things you can do for a grieving child is to simply be there for them. Children may not always know how to ask for help, but knowing that their caregiver is available for comfort can provide a sense of safety.
- Tip: Offer physical comfort, like hugs or holding their hand. Sometimes, simply sitting together in silence can provide reassurance.
6. Seek Professional Support When Needed
If a child’s grief becomes overwhelming or if you notice that their behavior is significantly changing over time, it may be helpful to seek professional support. A therapist who specializes in child grief can provide coping strategies and offer a space for the child to express their emotions in a healthy way.
- Tip: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or therapist if you feel your child needs additional support. It can be beneficial to have someone outside of the family to talk to.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a grieving child can feel like a delicate balance, but with the right tools and approach, you can help them process their emotions and begin to heal. If you’re looking for further resources or tips, consider reading more about how grief affects children and how to support them through their journey.
For additional reading, check out our other posts on understanding grief and loss in children, or explore Jurni, a heartfelt story about a young girl coping with the loss of her mother and her journey toward healing.
At Jurni, we're working to bring these themes of grief, healing, and hope to life through an animated short film inspired by our story. If you’d like to support this project, please visit our Kickstarter campaign or learn more on the Jurni website. Together, we can create something meaningful for families navigating their own journeys.