Talking about death with children can feel like one of the most challenging conversations parents and caregivers will ever face. Children may not have the emotional or cognitive tools to fully understand what death means, and as a result, they may express their grief in ways that are confusing for adults.
In these moments, it’s important to approach the conversation with sensitivity, honesty, and care. Here are some helpful tips for talking to kids about death in a way that supports their emotional well-being.
1. Be Honest but Age-Appropriate
Children deserve honesty, but it’s important to explain death in a way they can understand. Avoid euphemisms like “passed away” or “gone to sleep,” as these can confuse young minds. Use simple, clear language that fits the child’s age and developmental stage.
- Tip: "When someone dies, their body stops working, and they don’t come back. It’s sad, but it’s something that happens to everyone at different times."
2. Encourage Questions and Answer Honestly
Children will likely have many questions when they first learn about death. While some questions may be difficult to answer, it’s important to listen and answer as honestly as you can. Let them know it’s okay to ask anything they’re wondering.
- Tip: If you don’t have all the answers, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” but assure them that you’re there to talk about it whenever they need.
3. Reassure Them That Their Feelings Are Normal
Kids may experience a wide range of emotions when they’re grieving, from sadness and anger to confusion and fear. Let them know that all of these feelings are normal and part of the process of dealing with loss. Encourage them to express their feelings in healthy ways, like drawing, writing, or talking.
- Tip: "It’s okay to feel sad, mad, or even confused. We can talk about it together whenever you need to."
4. Use Books and Stories to Help Them Understand
Books can be an excellent tool for helping children understand and process death. Stories allow children to relate to the characters and emotions in a way that feels less overwhelming than talking directly about their own experiences. Consider reading books about grief and loss with your child to start a conversation.
- Tip: Check out our blog post on 5 Books That Help Kids Understand Grief and Loss for some recommendations that might resonate with your child.
5. Offer Comfort and Be Present
During conversations about death, children may need extra comfort and reassurance. Be present, give them hugs, and let them know that it’s okay to grieve in their own way and on their own timeline.
- Tip: Create a comforting ritual, such as lighting a candle or remembering happy times with the loved one, to offer peace and a sense of closure.
6. Lead by Example
Children often look to their parents and caregivers for cues on how to process emotions. By showing that it’s okay to feel sad, cry, or talk about your own grief, you give children permission to do the same. It’s important to model healthy grieving behaviors and let your child see that expressing emotions is a natural part of life.
- Tip: Don’t be afraid to express your own feelings in front of your child. It helps them see that it’s okay to experience grief at any age.
Final Thoughts
While talking about death with children is difficult, it’s a conversation that can help them understand and process their grief. By being honest, patient, and supportive, you can help guide your child through this challenging time. Remember that it’s okay to seek professional help if you feel that your child needs extra support.
At Jurni, we're working to bring these themes of grief, healing, and hope to life through an animated short film inspired by our story. If you’d like to support this project, please visit our Kickstarter campaign or learn more on the Jurni website. Together, we can create something meaningful for families navigating their own journeys.