Grief is hard enough to face on your own, but when you’re a parent, you’re often navigating your own pain while also guiding your child through theirs. It’s a balancing act—one that can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and at times, impossible. But even in the midst of deep sorrow, it’s possible to find moments of connection, healing, and hope.
The Dual Role of Grieving Parent and Supporter
As a parent, you’re not just mourning your own loss—you’re also the anchor for your child. They look to you for comfort, guidance, and reassurance, even as you’re trying to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel torn between these roles, and it’s okay to not always have the answers.
Tips for Balancing Your Grief and Supporting Your Child
Here are some strategies to help you navigate this challenging journey:
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Acknowledge Your Own Grief
Before you can fully support your child, you need to give yourself permission to grieve. Suppressing your emotions to “stay strong” for your child might seem noble, but it can backfire, leaving you emotionally drained.- Set aside quiet moments for yourself to cry, reflect, or journal. It’s important to honor your own pain.
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Model Healthy Coping
Children learn how to process grief by watching the adults in their lives. By showing your child that it’s okay to feel sadness, anger, or confusion—and that these emotions can be worked through—you’re teaching them valuable emotional resilience.- For example, you might say, “I’m feeling really sad today, and that’s okay. It’s because I miss [name], just like you do.”
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Lean on Your Support System
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or support group, having someone to lean on can help you find strength to support your child.- Don’t hesitate to ask for help with practical tasks or emotional support when you need it.
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Create Space for Shared Healing
Grieving together doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. Sometimes, simply sitting together in silence, sharing memories, or engaging in an activity like making a memory box can be incredibly healing for both you and your child. -
Be Honest About Your Limits
It’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. Children are often more understanding than we give them credit for, and showing vulnerability can help them feel less alone in their grief.- You might say, “I’m having a tough day today, but I’m here for you. We’ll get through this together.”
The Emotional Push and Pull
One of the hardest parts of grieving as a parent is the emotional push and pull—feeling like you need to be “on” for your child while desperately needing time to process your own emotions. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present.
Finding Strength in Connection
While grief can feel isolating, it can also bring families closer together. By sharing your feelings, being honest about your struggles, and creating space for your child to do the same, you’re fostering an environment of mutual understanding and healing.
Through this shared journey, you’re teaching your child one of life’s most important lessons: that even in the face of deep loss, love and connection can guide you forward.
At Jurni, we're working to bring these themes of grief, healing, and hope to life through an animated short film inspired by our story. If you’d like to support this project, please visit our Kickstarter campaign or learn more on the Jurni website. Together, we can create something meaningful for families navigating their own journeys.